Momentous Decision Made

After much stress lately, crying, soul searching and making myself ill, I finally sat down with DH last night and we talked for a LONG time, and have made the momentous decision that I am going to give up work before Erin starts full-time school in September.
I currently work full-time as a legal secretary and the stress is just about killing me, I’m not sleeping properly, I eat junk to comfort myself and am therefore severely obese, and have a very short fuse at home with DH and Erin as a result. I spend far too much time on the pc just to escape as I’m not happy with what is going on around me.
It is something that I never really thought I’d be able to do, but have been thinking about it for a few months now, since Erin starting school became a reality really. What with having to arrange things around school times, holidays etc, I’ve just been sick with worry. My boss also has a young daughter and therefore us both being on holiday during school holidays is impossible. I have been trying to work out before and after school clubs etc as DH works shifts and I therefore cannot rely on him to help on set days each week. I’ve also considered different hours at work but it is not practical and doesn’t solve the holiday issue.
Erin is at nursery three days a week now and goes to my mum’s for two days, and that is hard enough. I feel that I don’t have a proper relationship with her as I’m always trying to get other things done, and she is becoming clingy and tearful whenever I leave her lately which has made me think deeper about things. If I was to carry on as I am she would not know whether she was coming or going.
We have gone through our finances and we can manage on DH’s salary, although obviously we are going to have to make huge changes to the way with live, but currently we end up wasting most of my salary on takeaways, eating out or buying things to cheer ourselves up because we are so tired and stressed anyway.
The plan is to see how it goes for a few months and see if we are doing ok, and if we are struggling or I hate being at home all the time I will look for a part-time job during school hours somewhere local.
I have this inbuilt terror that we are not going to be able to manage money wise, but I have looked into it carefully before making this decision, and it has come to a point where I have realised that I have to put Erin and myself first, and if I don’t give it a try I know I will always wonder what if.
I feel like I missed out on too much with her when she was a baby due to post-natal depression, and I don’t want to waste anymore time. DH has also said he wants his happy wife back.
Sorry this was so long, just needed to get it down in writing to try and clear my head. At the moment I’m veering from terror to elation, worry to excitement, panic to relief.

Another New Finish Tried

Another thing I've been wanting to try for a long time is a cube finish. Well yesterday I finally got some polystyrene and got DH to cut a piece to the right size for me, and I finished off the M Designs 2006 Tree that I stitched last year lol.
Had to go to get some of the right size ribbon at lunchtime today, and doing the bow at the top was rather fiddly (thanks for the help Julie lol) but I got there in the end.
So I can now say I can do a pinkeep, flatfold, cube finish, tin topper, biscornu and scissor pocket. Still need to master a needlebook, needleroll and scissor fob, but ticking them off steadily!

Ok, I Give In

After spending the last two weeks feeling thoroughly miserable and hardly stitching at all, I've finally decided to call it a day and say goodbye to my days as a rotational stitcher. I really thought I had it cracked when Helen explained to me how she works her rotation, and at first it went really well, but as is always the case with me other things started screaming and the more I tried to ignore it the worse it got. I've been desparate for a new bright start for ages but have been stopping myself saying that I would allow one only once I'd finished this round of the rotation, which made me even more miserable and want to stitch on what I did have out even less.
So, after not enjoying my hobby for so long and then a good talking to from Julie this morning, I've decided that I'm going to stop feeling so guilty about it and just enjoy myself, stitch on what is screaming at the time, and move on when something else screams. I will still be keeping a tiny amount of self-control over the amount of new starts I have, but other than that anything goes!
I've decided to pull the Heirloom Embroideries Mystery out tonight and get going on with adding the beads, in time for the last part next month, and then I think I'm going to start Serendipity which has been screaming for ages. But I need to kit it up first so depending on time I might end up working on something else til I can.
I've also been wanting to try a tin finish for a long time and this afternoon I finally did it. I haven't done the bottom or insides like a lot do, but as the "tin" itself is actually plastic and green in colour I decided to finish it as I have and I'm pretty pleased with the result. I've stuck some magnetic strip in the bottom to hold needles, and have a tiny pair of scissors which will go inside it. The next time I do one I will probably decorate the whole thing, but for a first attempt I'm happy.

Still Nothing To Show

Afraid I still don't have any pics to show. I managed to finish the exchange piece for the Jayne's Attic exchange last night, and I have to say that although I wasn't really in the mood for stitching it I am very happy with the finished result. The posting day isn't until the 11th June so I won't be able to show a pic until my partner receives it I'm afraid. Hopefully it will be worth the wait lol.
That is all the stitching I've done in the last week. Not been feeling too brilliant lately. Work is so busy and stressful, Erin seems to be going through a funny stage where she's constantly tearful and throwing tantrums which is very wearing, and MIL has been to stay so say I'll say no more about that lol.
I still have this month's part of the Heirloom Embroideries mystery to stitch as the last part is out in June, but I'm just not in the mood for it right now, so tonight I'm going to pull out my HAED Always Dreaming QS which is next in the rotation and give her some attention tonight. Once I've had my fix of her I think I'll try to get the mystery done so that I don't fall behind.
We went out for the day yesterday to Grassington and then The Forbidden Corner. Grassington has a wonderful stitchy shop called The Craft Shop. They have about 4000 kits in stock I'm told, and I spent a lovely half hour in there drooling. I only ended up buying a small Bothy Threads kit that comes in like a CD case, called a SNAPS, as I have to say I'm spoiled shopping online and everything seemed very expensive, but it was lovely to be able to have a good close up look at things I've only seen online before.
As for The Forbidden Corner, this is like a maze and treasure hunt in one with lots of pathways, clues, surprises etc. We did take some pics which are now on DH's computer, and once I figure out how to get them across here I'll put a couple up of Erin posing for you to see lol.
I had a little bit of stash arrive this week. The Carries Creations Cheryl thread that I ordered from Jayne came on Wed and the Ink Circles Cirque Des Cercles chart from her came yesterday. I think I have decided to stitch it in Vicki Clayton Pastel silk, so just need to get that ordered and that will be another new start ready lol.
I have definitely decided that Serendipity will be added to the next round of my rotation, along with Cirque I think, and an LHN or CCN design which I haven't quite decided on yet. I think Serendipity and Cirque will give me the colours and simplicity I'm needing right now, and the LHN/CCN I just can't resist starting one any longer! Mind you, I also want to start a Just Nan and a Drawn Thread soon!
Thanks so everyone who reads my blog and to those who leave comments. I'm sorry there's nothing to show you lately, but I hope to rectify that very soon.

Nothing To Show

This week has been a bit of a non-starter for stitching for me.
I've just not been feeling like stitching for some reason, and when I have I haven't been able to get into it, so no pics to show of any progress I'm afraid.
I have decided on a design for the stitching accessory exchange on the Jayne's Attic BB and made a start on it, but it wasn't until last night that I actually got into it, so hopefully it will grow quickly now.
The next part of the mystery from Heirloom Embroideries arrived the other day and it's beads which aren't really my fav thing to stitch, but I will get around to it soon. Julie and I thought that we might be doing something with the inside of it this month as next month is the last part, so I'm really curious to know what next month will bring as I can't imagine how we can finish it to use.
Now, I want to thank Sally publicly and send her big hugs for helping me yesterday to work out how to strike through items on my rotation list! I've wanted to be able to do it for ages, but I'm not very good with my blog at doing different things, so once I saw that Sally was doing it with hers I decided to test her patience lol. And she really was patient with me and explained it really simply, and now I can do it!!! Yay!!!
I think I must be having a funky week generally as, as well as not stitching much, I've mainly been lurking on the BB's and blogs and not posting or commenting. I will try to start to rectify that this weekend.

Quick Update

Back from the caravan today and still in the middle of emptying it etc so only a quick update.
Had a good time, but glad to be home, and 7pm when Erin went to bed was heaven lol. Peace at last after 4 days of constant chatter from an over excited 4yr old is a bit wearing lol.
Haven't stitched anything like as much as I hoped I would, ended up doing things with Erin during the day and was too tired on a night to do much.
But I do have an update of Celtic Autumn for you. The first pic is the little bit I did when I first started it last year lol, and the second is what I've done up to tonight. I did want to get more done but it wasn't to be, and I'm anxious to move on now as I've got my exchange piece on Jayne's Attic to stitch, the Heirloom Embroideries mystery part for May is on it's way I hear, and Always Dreaming is next on the rotation.

Update But No Pics

Just a quick update before we go away tomorrow for the UK Bank Holiday weekend.
I've been stitching on Celtic Autumn this week and really enjoying it. The colours in the alternative colourway are just lovely and it's a pleasure to stitch so far. I didn't manage to do any last night and it's doubtful I'll get any done tonight with getting the caravan ready, but I will be taking it with me to work on in an evening in the caravan if I get chance. I'll post an update pic before it goes away again I promise.
I was hoping that May's part of the Heirloom Embroideries mystery might be released before the weekend so I could take that with me to be getting on with, but no-one has heard anything about it's release yet so that's not going to happen.
Another long shot was taking the Jayne's Attic stitching accessory exchange piece with me, but we haven't received our partners yet so there is no way I'll be able to decide on a design and get it kitted up before tomorrow morning lol, so that's out also.
Never mind, they are both things to look forward to when we come back.
When we're away in the caravan on the type of holiday we're going on this weekend, some of the time during the day is spend sitting keeping an eye on Erin taking part in various activities that she loves so much, making things, dancing etc. She doesn't want us to interfere when she does these things, but she has to be able to see us lol. So I need to take something that I can do while she's doing these things. DH always takes his book and reads, but stitching addict that I am I always take my stitching. So I've taken the Indigo Rose Bee Charmer Biscornu kit out of my work drawer and that's going with us this time for some attention. I know it's not in my rotation but I'm just having a bit of time out for it and I will be working on Celtic as well.
So hopefully after the weekend I'll have some pics to show!
Thanks to everyone who reads my blog and special thanks to those who comment, it gives me a real buzz to know people are interested in what I'm stitching.
Hugs to you all, and have a great weekend!!!