Monday, September 17, 2007

Any Ideas?

I've hit a brick wall in knowing what to do with Erin on a morning when we leave her at school.
I know it's only her third week at "big school" and today was only her first full day, but it's breaking my heart every morning when I leave her as she is sobbing, clinging onto me and begging me not to go.
We have spoken with her teacher and she says that once she is in school she is absolutely fine, and has said if she has any concerns she will speak to us about them, but it doesn't make me feel any better.
We have tried giving her a bit more attention, tried sitting down with her and explaining things and asking why she cries (she says she just doesn't like us leaving her), and we've even tried being quite strict with her and telling her to stop crying and she is not a baby anymore etc, but nothing is working. Her grandma and we have tried bribery today lol, but that still failed.
I'm leaning towards thinking it's just going to have to be something we learn to live with, but it's so awful seeing her so sad every morning and I then worry about her all day.
She went through stages like this when she was at nursery, she would be upset for weeks and then settle, then be unsettled again, so maybe she will settle in a bit, I just don't know.
Then I got to thinking if anyone else had been through the same thing with their little ones when they started school, so does anyone have any advice?....


Claire said...

Lisa, you are honestly just best leaving her. She is probably doing it for your benefit and she has probably stopped crying before you reach the school gates!
Dont fuss when you get her to school, just take her coat off, and get bag sorted out, or whatever you do and then just leave her with the teacher. Phone during the day to how she is doing...

When she realises that this is how it is, then she will probably settle down.

Claire - the pre-school assistant who is dealing with lots of crying kids at pre-school!!

Anonymous said...

I know it's not what you want to hear but I agree with Claire. I have worked in a playgroup before and it is very rare for a child to still be upset long after the parent leaves. Just keep on reassuring her you love her and will be back for her when school finishes. I know how hard it is as Jack really struggled last year with bullying and not coping well will reading & writing and I was dreading him going back after the holidays but he is 100% happier now. Kids know which buttons to press and although I don't doubt she might be feeling a little insecure because everything is so new right now but I bet she enjoys it really :) Why don't you hang around out of sight and ask her teacher to send someone out when she has calmed down so at least you can go off with peace of mind. Or ask her to draw her teacher a nice picture or something the night before and tell her the teacher will be so pleased with it etc that hopefully she wont be able to wait to get through the door to give it to her.

Hope it all works out. I am speaking as a parent as also as a person that works with kids so I know both sides and although it is very hard it will be ok in the end!

Dawn x

Julie said...

sometimes Lisa you have to be cruel to be kind, i agree with the others i'm afraid

Stitchingranny said...

Here's my two pennyworth Lisa. Has she made a friend at school, if so maybe you could arrange with the friends mum to meet up at the school gate and go in together. If she is happy chatting with a friend she is less likely to bother.

Its quite common, nothing to worry about and the more she thinks it is worrying you the longer it is lible to last.

Sally said...

To be honest Lisa you are best just leaving her. I agree totally with Claire. I did that with Abigail as she was tearful for a few days when she first started and it's the only way. If you give them too much fuss etc it'll only make things worse. {{{{hugs}}}}

Heather said...

I can't say I've had that problem, Marion has always loved going into nursery, reception and now school.

We don't actually get to go in with them, they line up in their class line and the teacher comes out to get them when the whistle goes.

I did have a friend who had that problem and like Claire said he was doing it for his Mum's attention, if anyone else took him to school he went in no problem at all (it turns out he has aspergers syndrome and it was emotional blackmail he was using).

The more you stay and try and calm her down, the more she'll cry and want you to stay.

Hope Erin settles quickly for you.