Thought You Deserved Some Pics....

To show that I do actually have some progress to show this year lol.
First of all is the most recent pages of the Quaker RR I've stitched. This part is Tracy's.
And next up is my Cirque wip after the last few days stitching on it. I've finished pages 1 and 4 now and am onto page 2. It is being stitched using Vikki Clayton premium silk in discontinued Caribbean Splash, 1 over 2 on 32ct antique white. I love stitching with this colour as it's so bright and cheerful but am feeling a bit bored now so going to put it away again for a while.

Next up I think is going to be my HAED Always Dreaming QS which has been whimpering at me for a while. I figure if I pull her out I'll see if she can get a bit louder and hold my attention for a little while.

Still Here!

I know it's been a long time but my stitching mojo completely disappeared and so blogging became impossible for me as I'd nothing to talk about or show.
I've had a couple of weeks with no stitching whatsoever, but yesterday I decided to pull Cirque out and just see how I got on stitching for half an hour. When I picked up my needle I literally panicked, it was such a strange feeling, I didn't know where to start. Anyway, I put in the first stitch and felt better.
Then I realised that I was thinking "how much can I get done tonight"? That made me think, I'm always thinking this when I stitch lately, how much can I stitch in a session or how soon can I get this finished? Then it finally hit me why my mojo has run away....
At the beginning of this year I signed up to two SAL's on the HAED bulletin board, as well as signing up for a Quaker RR with Sally and three other stitching friends. This was the first year I've signed up for any formal SAL's and I've never done a round robin before.
So a lot of my stitching time has been taken up with stitching on certain projects at certain times. The SAL's have found me trying to stitch as much as possible in the alloted time for showing progress pics, and the RR has meant stitching to a deadline which I'm not used to.
I've never liked being told what to do right from being a child lol, and even though the SAL's and RR are things I willingly signed up for, I've felt like I had to stitch on those projects at times when I didn't actually feel like it, and to get as much done as possible, which has resulted in my not enjoying my stitching.
So last night while stitching on Cirque I kept telling myself to slow down, stop rushing, just enjoy the process, and it worked!!!! I was so excited I was buzzing!! I thoroughly enjoyed the bit that I stitched and can't wait to pull it out again tonight! Whoohoo!!
So the result of all this is that I've decided to pull out of the SAL's. I'm due to get the last part of the RR around the 6th June and instead of pressuring myself to stitch it as fast as possible I'm going to practice my new mantra and "slow down and enjoy the process" lol.
I can't believe it took me 5 months to work this out and I am a bit sad that I've wasted 5 months of my life not enjoying my hobby which I've always loved so much. I've also been struggling badly with my moods and depression this last couple of months, and I'm wondering if my not being able to escape into my stitching has actually played a part. I guess only time will tell, but here's hoping the worst is over I have loads of fun stitching in my future!

Long Time No Blog

I still haven't been able to find the culprit who stole my stitching mojo a while back, so in the meantime I've been trying to build a new one.

It's a slow process and think it's going to be a long while before I get it like my old one, but at least I'm stitching again most evenings, if only for a short while.
First of all I finished the stitching for the Stitch & Stash BB's March Challenge but unfortunately still haven't got around to making it up into anything. I know it should have been stitched and made up in March but some of you who've lost your mojo before will know when you pick up your stitching and have to frog two for every three stitches you make, it's a sign to put it away again. Anyway, I'll post a pic once I make it up, soon hopefully.

And the other only other stitching I've been doing is Chris' RR which you can find out more about on Quaker Friends . So far I've stitched the two pages on my own, Sally's and Chris'. I think the next one I'll be getting is Tracy's and then Jane's will be my last, and the RR will be finished! We should all get our own pieces back fully stitched around mid July. I haven't seen my piece since I sent it on at the start of the RR, so must say I'm curious to know how it's looking so far. I'm sending Chris' on it's way around the 24th April so going to have a couple of weeks before the next one arrives to start and think I'm going to see if anything starts screaming at me from my wips.

Before I forget, I'd like to try and enlist some help locating a pattern. I have become fixated on a chart I saw by Haberdashery Designs called Voodoo Boy. My boss and I at work are always joking that we should have a voodoo doll to stick pins in when once of our really nasty clients upsets us which is most days lol. As soon as I saw this I knew I had to stitch it for her, but the only place I can find it is Stitching Bits & Bobs, and I really can't afford the extortionate shipping charge for one chart. Does anyone know where else I can get it? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Well, till next time, happy stitching!

Couple Of Photos

Still no stitching done here since the weekend, the mojo is well and truly missing, but just taken a pic of Sally's RR before I send it on it's way to Jane tomorrow, along with the tiny amount I did on HAED's Romeo & Juliet before putting her away again.

Last night I felt like getting rid of all my stash I felt that bad, but today that feeling has eased a bit, much to Dawn's disgust who is on her way over as we speak with a lorry to collect it all rotfpml!

Instead of stitching I'm taking the opportunity to catch up on blogs and play with mine a bit, in the hope that that will tempt me to pick up a needle again soon.

Have You Seen My Mojo?

I have realised this weekend that my stitching mojo has gone missing, don't know where I saw it last and haven't a clue where to find it, any ideas?
I don't feel that 2008 so far has been great for me, I don't know about anyone else. The weather has been awful, high winds, loads of rain, very cold, but not much sun. I know that that definitely affects my mood, I NEED sun to give me some get up and go and optimism.
Then there was my really low mood which lead to me stopping my medication, the following withdrawal symptoms and then the tonsillitus! And now, don't ask me how, but I trapped a nerve in my neck/shoulder the middle of last week and have been in pain since. It doesn't feel too bad first thing on a morning but gets worse as the day goes on, and by evening I can't get any relief or get comfy. I've had the same thing a few times before, first on one side and then the other, with no explanation and it's really painful, but it hadn't happened for a couple of months. After talking with DH I tend to agree with him that it's due to my weight and the way I'm sleeping on a night somehow, but not sure.
So my stitching has been few and far between. I finished my 2nd page on Sally's RR by doing it a motif at a time every few days and will be sending it onto Jane on Wed, but other than that not done much at all, haven't even managed to take a pic yet. This weekend is the HAED SAL Challenge and I should be working on Romeo & Juliet. It doesn't help that for some reason I just can't get into this, I've worked on it on several occasions now and it just doesn't seem to flow for me. I have put in a couple of hundred stitches so it's all progress, but again it will be going away with me annoyed with myself over it.
I've also started the March Challenge piece on Stitch & Stash. Can't say what colours or fabbie I'm using, or what I'm planning for it, but it's started, and even that isn't grabbing my attention.
So you see why I think my mojo is lost? I decided to brighten up my blog a bit with Easter colours and see if that helps brighten me up in turn. I have thought about another new start, but nothing is really calling to me, and none of my other wips seem to be even whimpering, so maybe I just need a break from it, although I always worry when I'm like this that it's never going to come back.

Grrrrrr!

I was updating my blog yesterday, had spent ages waffling and uploading pics, just about to publish and my laptop shutdown on me as it had overheated. You can imagine there were some not very nice words said! So now to try to remember what I had been waffling about...

Firstly I want to thank everyone for the wonderful supportive comments after my last post on going cold turkey with my anti-depressants. I'm very pleased to say that most of the withdrawal symptoms have gone now, with the worst ones just bothering me occasionally, like dizzy spells. If I had known I would be able to do this I would have done it ages ago, rather than staying on the meds for all this time. So now we just wait to see if I can get the appropriate help for my issues with food. I have a hospital appointment next Wed for an initial consulations, so fingers crossed.

Unfortunately now though I'm suffering with tonsillitus which started last week. It's hard to believe but at 35 I've never had it before and boy what a wake up call that was. I ended up crawling to the drs last Fri instead of going to work and am still not feeling much better although I did drag myself into work today. So things like housework and socialising are non-starters here right now, didn't leave the house from Fri to today, and think I'll only be going to work then back home to my sofa the rest of the week.

So now onto what this blog is supposed to be about lol, stitching. I don't feel to have done much since my last post, but looking at the pics I guess I have. I've worked on Ink Circles Cirque Des Cercles and managed to get to the bottom left hand corner, plus I've stitched my first page of two for Sally's Quaker RR. These two were a relief to stitch when I couldn't concentrate on my HAED's, but I knew I was feeling better when they started calling again, so now I'm having a few days on Cabin In The Woods and seeing if I can reach the chimney of the Cabin!

And finally I was tagged by Claire and Elisa over the weekend. I have to name 7 weird or random facts about myself.

Here are the rules of the tagging;

1 Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.

2 Post the Rules on your blog.

3 Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.

4 Tag 7 people and link them.5 Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

So for the 7 weird or random facts about me:

1. I'm scared of the dark.

2. I can touch my nose with my tongue.

3. I was in labour with DD for 42 hours.

4. I met DH on a blind date.

5. I cannot stand the noise of other people eating if I'm not.

6. DH says I can reverse park and read a map lol.
7. We gave DD the middle name Dominique as we got married in the Dominican Republic.

I see that a lot of people have been tagged over the weekend, so not naming names, but if you read this and haven't been tagged yet, you're it!

Awful Week

First of all I'd like to thank all my wonderful blogging friends who commented on my finish of Tomboy. I had a record number of comments and it really made my day.

Now on non-stitching things which I just feel I need to explain, please feel free to quit reading now if you wish as it's long and quite heavy. This week has been really really hard and I'm just thankful at the end of each day that I've managed to get through that day.

A few of my close blogging friends know that I've been on anti-depression meds for a long time now after suffering with post natal depression after having Erin 5 years ago. I've had counselling regarding issues from my past and have resolved those, but the depression still has me in it's grasp and a lot of it is to do with my weight etc. I saw my own dr last week and to say he made me rethink things is an understatement. I spent 3/4 hr with him when it should have been a quick 5 min app to get a repeat prescription, and the upshot of it all is that he thinks I need specific help for my issues with food, and my meds need rethinking as they are obviously not working anymore. I cried through most of the app and came home totally drained, but it really opened my eyes. After a lot of research, thought and discussion with DH I decided last Friday to come off the tablets and go cold turkey as they say. I know it is something you're not supposed to do and I've had a telling off from lots of people, but I really haven't done it on a whim. I did try to come off the meds last year by reducing them, but I had bad withdrawal symptoms and knew it would go on a long time that way, reducing the dose slightly over months. I've read A LOT on the internet about the type of tablets I was taking and I can honestly say I wish I read it BEFORE I started them. The tablets I was on are the worst for coming off and are well known to cause horrendous withdrawal symptoms. Anyway, call me crazy or stupid but I decided that this was the way to go and took my last tablet last Thur night and haven't had one since.

Sat which was my first med free day I felt great, motivated, elated, happy, it was great... Then came Sat night and I got about 3 hours sleep in total in between the most horrendous nightmares and sweating. Sun I spent most of the day crying, wanted to scream and shout and felt like I was going to fall over I was so dizzy. Sun night I suddenly started hearing funny noises in my head (now don't laugh, I know I've always heard funny noises, but not these lol). I've since found out that these are what medical professionals have named brain zaps.... It's like hearing zzzt, zzzt, zzzt, in my head at regular intervals but stops when I close my eyes. I tell you, the first hour I thought I'd really lost it lol.

Sun night thank god I slept better, no nightmares or sweats, but woke up dizzy again and yesterday spent the day trying not to fall over and instead stay calm. Last night I had a nightmare again when I first went to sleep and ended up going back to sleep with the light on at first, but this morning when I woke up I did feel a bit better. Today hasn't been too bad. The dizziness is still there constantly and the noises come and go. I've had to get a hold of myself a couple of times and think "stay calm, deep breaths", but other than that it's been ok. As I get through each day I feel proud of myself that I've done it and it gives me more determination not to give up and go back on the meds. I can now say I've nearly done 4 days med free and if Sun was the worst I have to face I think I'll be ok. I am aware that new symptoms can appear at any time, and all of them can go on for weeks if not months, but I'm just taking it one day at a time for now. I have to see my dr again in another 3 weeks or so so we'll see what he has to say if I manage to stick with it. I know I'll probably get another telling off, but by then hopefully I'll be over the worst.

One symptom I didn't expect was not being able to concentrate on my stitching.... This last weekend has been the Monthly Challenge SAL on the HAED BB and I've been working on Romeo & Juliet again, but I've got very little progress to show. I've found that I really can't cope right now with confetti stitching, I came close on Sunday to taking my scissors to all of my wips and cutting them into little pieces lol. Anyway, the outcome was I stopped doing any confetti and just stitched a couple of blocks of the same colour and that seemed ok, no wanting to explode anyway lol.

Next in line is Sally's Quaker RR which I made a start on last week. I'm actually really looking forward to it as this is stitched in one colour of variagated floss over 2 and so means no confetti, colour changes or anything, so I think I'll be safe lol.

If you have read this far, are you mad?! lol No, seriously, thanks for listening and sorry to waffle on, but it's mainly for me to get it down in writing what's going on as I'm trying to keep a sort of diary to look back on and keep a track of any changes as they happen.

Til next time...