Grrrrrr!

I was updating my blog yesterday, had spent ages waffling and uploading pics, just about to publish and my laptop shutdown on me as it had overheated. You can imagine there were some not very nice words said! So now to try to remember what I had been waffling about...

Firstly I want to thank everyone for the wonderful supportive comments after my last post on going cold turkey with my anti-depressants. I'm very pleased to say that most of the withdrawal symptoms have gone now, with the worst ones just bothering me occasionally, like dizzy spells. If I had known I would be able to do this I would have done it ages ago, rather than staying on the meds for all this time. So now we just wait to see if I can get the appropriate help for my issues with food. I have a hospital appointment next Wed for an initial consulations, so fingers crossed.

Unfortunately now though I'm suffering with tonsillitus which started last week. It's hard to believe but at 35 I've never had it before and boy what a wake up call that was. I ended up crawling to the drs last Fri instead of going to work and am still not feeling much better although I did drag myself into work today. So things like housework and socialising are non-starters here right now, didn't leave the house from Fri to today, and think I'll only be going to work then back home to my sofa the rest of the week.

So now onto what this blog is supposed to be about lol, stitching. I don't feel to have done much since my last post, but looking at the pics I guess I have. I've worked on Ink Circles Cirque Des Cercles and managed to get to the bottom left hand corner, plus I've stitched my first page of two for Sally's Quaker RR. These two were a relief to stitch when I couldn't concentrate on my HAED's, but I knew I was feeling better when they started calling again, so now I'm having a few days on Cabin In The Woods and seeing if I can reach the chimney of the Cabin!

And finally I was tagged by Claire and Elisa over the weekend. I have to name 7 weird or random facts about myself.

Here are the rules of the tagging;

1 Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.

2 Post the Rules on your blog.

3 Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.

4 Tag 7 people and link them.5 Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

So for the 7 weird or random facts about me:

1. I'm scared of the dark.

2. I can touch my nose with my tongue.

3. I was in labour with DD for 42 hours.

4. I met DH on a blind date.

5. I cannot stand the noise of other people eating if I'm not.

6. DH says I can reverse park and read a map lol.
7. We gave DD the middle name Dominique as we got married in the Dominican Republic.

I see that a lot of people have been tagged over the weekend, so not naming names, but if you read this and haven't been tagged yet, you're it!

Awful Week

First of all I'd like to thank all my wonderful blogging friends who commented on my finish of Tomboy. I had a record number of comments and it really made my day.

Now on non-stitching things which I just feel I need to explain, please feel free to quit reading now if you wish as it's long and quite heavy. This week has been really really hard and I'm just thankful at the end of each day that I've managed to get through that day.

A few of my close blogging friends know that I've been on anti-depression meds for a long time now after suffering with post natal depression after having Erin 5 years ago. I've had counselling regarding issues from my past and have resolved those, but the depression still has me in it's grasp and a lot of it is to do with my weight etc. I saw my own dr last week and to say he made me rethink things is an understatement. I spent 3/4 hr with him when it should have been a quick 5 min app to get a repeat prescription, and the upshot of it all is that he thinks I need specific help for my issues with food, and my meds need rethinking as they are obviously not working anymore. I cried through most of the app and came home totally drained, but it really opened my eyes. After a lot of research, thought and discussion with DH I decided last Friday to come off the tablets and go cold turkey as they say. I know it is something you're not supposed to do and I've had a telling off from lots of people, but I really haven't done it on a whim. I did try to come off the meds last year by reducing them, but I had bad withdrawal symptoms and knew it would go on a long time that way, reducing the dose slightly over months. I've read A LOT on the internet about the type of tablets I was taking and I can honestly say I wish I read it BEFORE I started them. The tablets I was on are the worst for coming off and are well known to cause horrendous withdrawal symptoms. Anyway, call me crazy or stupid but I decided that this was the way to go and took my last tablet last Thur night and haven't had one since.

Sat which was my first med free day I felt great, motivated, elated, happy, it was great... Then came Sat night and I got about 3 hours sleep in total in between the most horrendous nightmares and sweating. Sun I spent most of the day crying, wanted to scream and shout and felt like I was going to fall over I was so dizzy. Sun night I suddenly started hearing funny noises in my head (now don't laugh, I know I've always heard funny noises, but not these lol). I've since found out that these are what medical professionals have named brain zaps.... It's like hearing zzzt, zzzt, zzzt, in my head at regular intervals but stops when I close my eyes. I tell you, the first hour I thought I'd really lost it lol.

Sun night thank god I slept better, no nightmares or sweats, but woke up dizzy again and yesterday spent the day trying not to fall over and instead stay calm. Last night I had a nightmare again when I first went to sleep and ended up going back to sleep with the light on at first, but this morning when I woke up I did feel a bit better. Today hasn't been too bad. The dizziness is still there constantly and the noises come and go. I've had to get a hold of myself a couple of times and think "stay calm, deep breaths", but other than that it's been ok. As I get through each day I feel proud of myself that I've done it and it gives me more determination not to give up and go back on the meds. I can now say I've nearly done 4 days med free and if Sun was the worst I have to face I think I'll be ok. I am aware that new symptoms can appear at any time, and all of them can go on for weeks if not months, but I'm just taking it one day at a time for now. I have to see my dr again in another 3 weeks or so so we'll see what he has to say if I manage to stick with it. I know I'll probably get another telling off, but by then hopefully I'll be over the worst.

One symptom I didn't expect was not being able to concentrate on my stitching.... This last weekend has been the Monthly Challenge SAL on the HAED BB and I've been working on Romeo & Juliet again, but I've got very little progress to show. I've found that I really can't cope right now with confetti stitching, I came close on Sunday to taking my scissors to all of my wips and cutting them into little pieces lol. Anyway, the outcome was I stopped doing any confetti and just stitched a couple of blocks of the same colour and that seemed ok, no wanting to explode anyway lol.

Next in line is Sally's Quaker RR which I made a start on last week. I'm actually really looking forward to it as this is stitched in one colour of variagated floss over 2 and so means no confetti, colour changes or anything, so I think I'll be safe lol.

If you have read this far, are you mad?! lol No, seriously, thanks for listening and sorry to waffle on, but it's mainly for me to get it down in writing what's going on as I'm trying to keep a sort of diary to look back on and keep a track of any changes as they happen.

Til next time...

She's Finally Finished!!!!

After 2 years and 1 month approx my HAED Tomboy QS is finally finished! I finished her this afternoon and as the last stitches were going in it didn't seem real, but when I took her off the qsnaps and looked at her all finished the excitement hit. I really can't believe she is actually done, there were times when I thought I'd never do it, and right now I don't ever want to do another black and white design or stitch with kreinik blending filament ever again lol. But I am absolutely ecstatic with her and can't wait to get her washed, ironed and to the framers to choose a mount and frame. She is going to be my first professionally framed piece because after all the work that's gone into her I think she deserves it. She was stitched 1 over 1 on pale blue 28ct jobelan using 21 colours of dmc plus a huge amount of kreinik lol.

We Got Snow!!!!!

Here in the UK snow has become something very rare since I was a child. I remember walking to school regularly in the winter with it like 12 inches thick. We haven't actually had any snow that you could do anything with where we lived since Erin was 2 (she turned 5 last week) and even then we were pushing our luck a bit lol.

So when DH got up this morning and said we needed to get the shovel out I thought he was just joking. He was actually but we had about 3 inches which Erin and I immediately went crazy over lol. As soon as we'd had breakfast we got wrapped up and went out in the garden to make her first ever snowman before it all disappeared. After all, the way things are going she might never get to do it again....

On a stitching front, I'm down to 991 stitches to go on Tomboy and just about to sit for a bit and try to put in a few more!