Having A Rough Time

I've not said much about it in my blog until now, but I've suffered with depression on and off for a long time. This time around I'd had it since DD was born 4 1/2 years ago and have been on and off medication during that time.I was doing a lot better, had had counselling which had helped loads, had reduced my meds by half and was feeling quite optimistic about the future. Anyway a couple of months ago I saw another dr about my meds and she suggested that I should now try to come off them, so reduced the dose again by half and said once my supply ended I could stop them altogether. I wasn't confident about doing this but thought it was worth a try. However I forgot to take my tablet one night and the following day I felt terrible. I had the shakes, panic attacks, was sick, headache, thought I was going to faint etc. Since then I've really struggled, I'm tearful all the time again, have a really short temper and am snapping at DD and DH. I feel sick with anxiety, can't get to sleep on a night and generally don't see any point in anything anymore. Even my stitching doesn't relax or cheer me up at the moment. So I did a lot of reading on the internet and found that loads of people had struggled to come of this type of med, having severe withdrawal symptoms, and had only managed by reducing in slow stages, by breaking tablets in half and then quarters. So for the last 10 days I've been doing this, only to get worse and worse and finally last night I couldn't take anymore. Lots of little things seemed to be going wrong lately and then I guess I had the straw that broke the camels back. I got to work this morning only to be told by my boss to go straight to the dr as I looked terrible and she was really worried about me. I got a cancellation straight away thankfully and my meds have been put straight back up to what they were three months ago, plus I have to go for an ECG on Monday as my heart rate and blood pressure are elevated. I feel like I'm on the verge of cracking up and although I so wanted to come off the meds, I know that now is not the time and am just relieved I could see a dr who is understanding and said I'm doing the right thing staying on them. I just feel like a failure though and that I'm never going to be "normal" again. Plus I'm scared about having an ECG and what it might reveal (although the dr is confident it's to do with my meds and that I'm so anxious right now, she just wants to rule anything else out).
So that's the reason why you're not seeing many stitching updates at the moment, and I'm not exactly interesting reading. Hopefully things will start to improve soon....

Wonderful Surprise

Yesterday I got home from work after a horrible day to a wonderful surprise from Sally.
She sent me the gorgeous needlebook she stitched from Papillon you can see in her blog! I just love the colours of this and have put in on display with my other stitchy accessories until I start using it. Thanks again Sally (hugs).
On the stitching front I've not got much to show for recent times. While we were on holiday I stitched up a San Man Originals tuck kit which I've had for ages. I still need to take a pic of it but will post one soon.
I also did a little bit more on my HAED Tomboy QS, I've finished another 10 wide column this last weekend but not stitched since. I think part of it is that all my WIP's are BAP's and I'm getting really frustrated with not seeing enough progress on them. I've decided I need to add a small project to my WIP's to stitch on when I need a break, and I've pulled out a needleroll design I've had in my stash since Erin was born lol, Shepherd's Bush Welcome Baby. It's ready to start apart from I need to prepare the fabbie, which I can't face tonight....
Do you think I've lost my stitching bug??????

Tagged

While we were away on holiday I was tagged by Julie to list 7 things about me:-

1. I'm left-handed
2. I passed my driving test 1st time
3. I'm an only child
4. I'm addicted to chocolate
5. I'm addicted to buying stitchy stash
6. I met my DH on a blind date
7. I got married in the Dominican Republic

I'm not going to tag anyone else as I think at lot have already been tagged.

Back From Hols

We've just arrived back from a week away in our caravan in sunny Blackpool lol. The weather was amazingly mostly nice, yesterday was the only day it rained a lot during the day. The beginning of the week we actually got sunburnt and Erin spent lots of time in the splash zone on the caravan site. I'll fill anyone interested in on more info later.
I have hundreds of emails to read, message boards and blogs to catch up on, but of course I also need to catch up on laundry etc, yuck, and my Sky+ box is totally full lol.
Back soon....!

June Ends And July Starts

My goals for June were:-

1. Finish Indigo Rose Bee Charmer Biscornu - DONE
2. Finish Heirloom Embroideries Huswif Mystery - DONE
3. Work on Eeyore Latch Hook Rug - 3 ROWS DONE
4. New Start - STARTED CIRQUE

I would like to have done more on the rug in June, but it's still progress, and I did also make good progress on Tomboy QS and actually enjoyed stitching on her which is amazing lol. Overall I didn't stitch as much as I would have like in June, been a bit up and down mood wise and so not stitched some nights, but I'm really pleased that I reached my goals and am ecstatic that the huswif is finished lol.
My goals for July are in my sidebar. I looked yesterday and I have 59 rows left on my Eeyore Latch Hook Rug. The last 15 are also only about half length rows, so they shouldn't take long at all. I've decided that I want to finish it by the end of August, so need to make good progress on it this month. I'd ideally like to do more than 20 rows, but will be satisfied with that. I've got a mini mystery to do for an exchange on Tranquil Stitches and also a small ornament to stitch so they are next priority, and any other time I have I want to work on Tomboy or Cirque.
Hoping to make a start on my goals this afternoon, but which one?! lol